Greetings Wendy and hugs,

This is a scary time for you, I know.  My 'baby' was 11 when I was diagnosed and my largest concern was her.  She's now 23.

There are wonderful treatments out there and more in the pipeline.  You live on the East Coast, right? So you've access to the best, so be sure and get a second opinion from a specialist.

Help me out here, group!  Which are the best in that area of the contry?  I'm on the West Coast and though I'd go anywhere, if I thought it made a difference; thnkfully the Hutch is in my back yard, so to speak.

Here to answer questions and dispense hugs.  dj

Support group?  Well, I was fortunate that I'd already seen a therapist on and off for a few years, and immediately made an appointment with her to help me 'sort' things out.

Trusting a doc is good-though I can't help but quote Regan, "trust AND verify".  Mos onc's welcome &/or understand second opinion request's.  That said, starting out with the least toxic treatment, when one can, is the best.

Many of us have had Rituxan and I'm sure you'll get lots of feedback.  dj

Hello, Wendy, and welcome to the board...you have been through a lot since this all started for you two years ago, haven't you?  You have come to a great place of support and caring, though, by joining us here.  I was diagnosed with Stage 4 non-Hodgkin lymphoma, MALT type, in October of 2008.  I've been treated with only Rituxan so far for the cancer, though I did begin IgG (immunoglobulin) infusions three months ago to help with a severe lack of energy and stamina.  I'd like to direct you to another thread here in the "Newly Diagnosed" community, called "Recently diagnosed with Stage 3 Low Grade NHL".  It was started by "jakernus" (Jaime), and several of us answered her with info about receiving Rituxan treatments to give her an idea of what that is like.  Obviously everyone has different responses to their treatments, but the general administration procedures seem to be pretty similar, so you might find some of the answers you're looking for in that thread.  And I agree with Cookie Monster (Jane); do post in the "Living with NHL" community.  Sometimes it takes a little while to get responses, but you are more likely to be "found" on that part of the board, once people know you're with us.  I am so glad for you that your bone marrow was negative, and I hope that you'll keep coming for support and answers while you're on your journey.  Blessings, Nursebaby

Good Morning all,

I am not sure where to start.  I was just partially diagnosed with B-cell follicular NHL.  I have just gone through my second biopsy (they removed the lump.)  It's been 19 days and I still don't have a definitive diagnosis.  I've been so worried, scared and shaken to core.  To add to the situation, I don't have insurance.  I was laid off a year ago and was in "good Health" to my knowledge and never elected to secure the "COBRA" insurance offered at that time.  Honestly, I thought I would be working or back to work in a matter of a couple months.  I found this lump in my leg (groin area) and didn't think anything about it.  While talking to my mother, I shared with her that I have this lump.  She is the one that told me that it's a lymph node.  That said, I completely freaked out.  A couple days passed and I finally got online to find the American Cancer Society.  I had to find out if there was a way that I could be seen somewhere.  After a days worth of calls I finally walked into a free clinic the following day.  Please understand that I've always had insurance and never thought in a MILLION YEARS that I would be facing something like this.  Fast forward to today,(BTW, this started in August 2009 but, I found this lump in January 2009.)  I still don't have insurance and have been rocked to my core regarding a definitive diagnosis.  To top this off, my unemployment is coming to end soon.  I so scared that I won't have any options for treatment once I receive the "official" diagnosis, and who would want to hire someone that is going to need "time off" for treatment.

I've found myself in the valley of despair lately.  The night sweats are not just at night.  Although I will say that I drench the sheets at night.  I cannot sleep, I get maybe 3 hrs a night. Eating, well, I have the hardest time doing that.  I contacted the LLS and have been given a FIRST CONNECT partner.  I've spoke to her once.  I've never been one to ask for help.  I've also never been one to support anti depressants.  Right now, I think I would be a prime candidate.  I've lost me somewhere in this tumultuous tunnel.  I only leave my apartment to go to the clinic at this point.  I do have a DR. appt next week at the clinic, I'm hoping to talk to someone and get some answers. 

I realize to some, that what I am going through is minor.  I just cannot seem to catch my breath.  Any comments, kind words or direction would be greatly appreciated. 

Hi  KGirl!

Thank you so much for taking the time to read my post.  I'm still learning how to maneuver in this site.  I really appreciate your kind words. I'll start by answering some of the question you've asked.  I live in Southern California, Orange County to be exact.  I'm an implant here.  I moved here back in 1999.  That said the only people I know (knew) are people I've worked with. Typically, when your in Management your not allowed the luxury of getting to close to people you work with.  I have a grown daughter who is married with 3 beautiful children.  The rest of my family, parents and brothers all live out of state.  I wish I had a tight support group to lean on. I have a handful of good friends scattered all over the US. I do have my daughter, but, I've been trying to remember that she has a life of her own to live.  My first connect person said that I should lean on her more.  I'm in the process of learning how.(she has even asked that I do as well).   I've always been the person to help others wether it be listening or doing.  I've never been good at asking for help.  I'm 45 years old (I used to say young.) I am single.  I was in a relationship for 4 years.  That just recently ended about a month ago.

I do have a preliminary diagnosis B-cell Follicular Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma.  There was something with the biopsy that they are calling "suspicious" it was sent to "City  of Hope" for more conclusive testing.  Those are the results the clinic is waiting to receive prior to giving me an "Actual Diagnosis".  I'm feeling things that I never thought I would feel.  Like my initial post, I've been rocked to my core.  I really am scared at what the future holds.  I wish I could get a grip on my emotions.  Part of me knows that once I get a diagnosis I then could focus on moving forward which would give me back some control in my life.  I explained it like this the other day.  Emotionally, I have the devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other.  All day long both fight for my attention.  I wish I could just turn my mind off for awhile. 

I hope I'm making sense. 

Honey

Hey Honey.  So you live in Southern California (I live in Northern California) and a happy to say California is one of the states that received Unemployment Insurance extensions,  Hopefully, this will help you out, at least for a little while.  I was Management for 18 years, and have to say that getting close to employees can be hazardous yet I always did anyway.  Especially the younger ones who found themselves occasionally adrift.  But I was born and raised in California, and I can imagine how hard it must be to have to "transplant" oneself.  Listen darlin' if your daughter wants to help, let her.  Could be a benefit to you both.  Ah, darn, another blindside huh, with your relationship closing up shop?? You do have a lot on your plate, but as a good friend of mine says, let's work on making that platter a dinner plate, then a salad plate, etc.  Try to remember that Lymphoma, while not a walk in the park, has quite a few treatment options, ofttimes well tolerated.  There may be some unpleasant side effects, but let's cross that bridge if and when we need to.  EVERYBODY that gets a diagnosis of cancer gets rocked to the soul.

Me, What, How could this happen???  I personally was told I had sciatica which wasn't sciatica at all but Lymphoma.  Everything that came after came so fast and furious, I'm still sorting through it (began last February, 2009), so I think I know how you're feeling.  When my mind spun out of control (which it did daily), I would get busy doing something, anything, I would stay away from anything promoting sadness (music, movies, etc.), and I would talk to my "virtual" friends.  I found it much easier than sitting across from a girlgriend trying to explain how I was feeling and coping, yet at the same time attempting to spare her feelings.  Cancer makes a lot of people uncomfortable.  Once you get a game plan going for your Lymphoma, you will feel a sense of control and acquire the knowledge that you are fighting the monster under the bed.  Moving forward is always an optimistic path to take.  Flip that devil right off your shoulder and give your angel a big ole smack!!!

Feel better and please let me know when you expect to find out your next step.

Kgirl

Good afternoon KGirl~

Thanks for corresponding with me.  I said to another person that's responded to me that I do soooooo look forward to receiving responses here. 

I'm in the infancy of making virtual friends.  I will say, I've smiled more today than I have in months.  It's amazing how I look forward to, some, any response in here.  It took a lot for me to open myself up and, share what I'm going through.  I don't expect this road to be a piece of cake.  I just never expected the intense level of emotions that I'm going through. 

As for my broken relationship.  I had no choice.  Like I said, we had been together for 4 years.  Apparently in his 20's he was a drug addict.  He told me this but that was over 20 years ago.  Never gave it another thought.  When I told him about my cancer, apparently he hit a brick wall and started using again. He's so far gone that I don't know who he is anymore, nor does his family. I hurt for him, but, he has to want to help himself.  He's gone so far off the deep end that his choices began to hurt and scare me.  It was at that point that I had to ask him to move out. Drugs do bad things to people.  I mourn the man I fell in love with 4 years ago.  The man he is now, is nothing like the person I fell in love with.  Enough of this, I had hoped I'd moved passed him.  That ghost still pops it's ugly head out occasionally.  Like you said "I'll flick this off my shoulders".  I have to take care of me.

I just looked up "sciatica" I had never heard of that before.  Oh my, there is a big difference between that and Lymphoma.  How are you now?  Are you far along in your treatments?

I have a Dr. appt on Wednesday.  I have 3 pages of questions.  I know, silly huh.  I just feel like I need more information. I'm hoping they'll have the results back from the 2nd biopsy(they removed that lymph at that time).  All I know thus far is B-cell follicular Non-Hodgkin Lymphoma.  No staging or, grading yet, nor have I been referred to an oncologist.  The surgeon that removed the node took me on as charity.  When I went in for my follow up, he was VERY concerned as to why I had not been to see an oncologist thus far.  I'm thinking it's because I have no insurance and they want to be completely sure of this prior to referral. Your thoughts???  Then my head started to whirl.  Please don't get me wrong.  I am so humbled and thankful that the clinic I'm going to has picked up the tab and chose to see me.  My concern is "is this cancer progressing" while I'm waiting for the final diagnosis?  I don't want to be to pushy but the last biopsy was done on 10-26-09. 

Please write again,

Honey