I have only been in remission about 5 months....but i think the thing that helped me the most was just thinking about the future. I fantasize a lot about what my life will be like in 2 or 3 years, finishing school maybe having my dream job, etc. I always recommend staying and thinking positive, but sometimes its just so hard to do, so if you keep these "fantasies" in your head they serve as constant positive reminders to pull you through.

anyway, just what i did, hope it helps someone   i gave a speech at  a Relay for Life a month ago and these were the other things i talked about...

1)    This is your job now, and you will never get fired. Always think about how you will be cured and how you are working everyday toward that cure, nothing else should ever enter your mind.

2)    Try not to ask why, you will find no answer, this answer will no doubt come later in life, when something amazing happens or you have done or achieved something so great, and you look back and say to yourself “”wow if I had never had cancer then…” (fill in the blank)

3)    Love, love, love, and love some more, and focus on that love, as it will inspire you everyday.

4)    Become interested in your treatment, immerse yourself in the protocol, make it your new hobby, examining and thinking about the medicine and research involved is much better than dwelling on the disease itself. Ask questions, just for fun, entertain yourself with every fact, every procedure, and share that information, teach others, trust me it will feel good.

5)    Let those that love you surround you, let them lean on you as you lean on them. The love you have for family and friends and the love they have for you will shine through, let them care for you, let them baby you, let them tell you how courageous are, how you inspire them, you may not believe them but listen to them they speak the truth! But most of all, especially in the beginning, let them know its ok, everything is ok.

6)    Give, give back at any opportunity you have, whether it’s a small congratulatory note or birthday card, or a message to a stranger on a cancer discussion board, or a simple warm smile to a fellow patient who looks scared. Giving back what you have learned will help you so much more than you think, it will give you peace, and help you grow.

7)    Make your five-year plan! I would like to say “plan ahead” but we all know you cannot begin to do that until you are completely done with your treatment, because until that point your doctors manage your date book, and with good reason of course! But design you five year plan, fantasize and dream CONSTANTLY about how great your life will be when you are five years cancer free, your family, your job, how amazing it will all be and how it will all be cancer free, never ever let these images slip out of your mind, keep them close and let them guide you through the next five years.

8)    Celebrate; celebrate everything, every small detail, nothing positive is ever too small to be a milestone in your treatment! If your blood work comes back better than it was suppose to, celebrate, if you feel good enough one day to walk down the street, celebrate, if you wake up one morning and you have stubble growing on your shiny head, celebrate. If your tumor shrinks a tiny bit, or your bone marrow comes back less one mutation, throw a HUGE party!

9)    Hair grows back, it does, you may not want to cut it for two years afterward, but nothing feels better than when you haven’t seen someone in a few days and they say oh my your hair is getting so thick!  You mutter something like “oh, yeah, its kinda messy” or “yeah I guess” but inside you are so thrilled they noticed. I won’t pretend it isn’t hard to look at your shiny head, and it certainly messes with your internal temperature, but indulge in not having hair, buy Coach, Hermes, and Gucci scarves, and cute hats, and beautiful earrings, buy new make-up and different wigs and have fun. Hair grows back, maybe not as fast as we like, but it will grow back. Besides that means you can sleep for an extra hour in the morning because you don’t have to style your hair!

10)     Lastly, you can, you know you can, and you know that you can, because you no longer know what the word can’t even means.

Not a bloody thing.  So far as I can tell, this is completely beyond my control.

Faith and attitude helped me cope, but they don't do a damned thing beyond influenceing one's outlook.

Wearing my seat belt, looking both ways before I cross, not going out in bad neighborhoods after dark . . .

Excuse the sarcasm, but that was the first thing that came to mind when I read the title.  Seriously, I'm with Tex and Pam; I don't think there is a whole lot you can do, other than follow your doctor's instruction while you are actively treating.  Faith is an important part of my life, but I don't think that even if God were one to intervene on an individual basis, that he would do so based on my level of faith. 

Paul

As a man who's studied and thought about this a lot, I'll share my thoughts.  If God answered your family's prayers, why didn't God answer the prayers of the famiily's who died from this crap?

As for why you and not someone else, well sh*t happens.  You got lucky or whatever.  You were not chosen for the disease.  And, finally, why not you?  That was the immediate answer that came to me the one time I dared to ask the question.

As for level of faith if you'll look through the Scriptures you'll find that healing miracles tended to happen to unbelievers or those with weak fiath.  I've never seen anything resembling a true healing miracle happen as a reward for someone's faith.

My son is one of 8 who was dx'd with T cell LBL back at the end of 2005 and whom we have formed friendships with.  He is the only one that did survive.  We don't know why, other than pure luck.  Attitude helped some, the moment he was dx'd he put up his hands and said "it's in Gods hands now".  He never complained and he never asked "why me", he had a hell of a sense of humor through it all.  He ate whatever he wanted, because when he felt like eating we would want to fatten him up....There is no rhyme or reason as to who survives and why.  We still don't say that around our house "survivor" because we feel there are years to go before we can.  Today he takes many supplements, one of which is 2000 iu of vitamin D because there's been a lot of medical reports claiming it is a good cancer preventive, among several other things.  I have said it many times "it's by the Grace of God, goes thee".

This is an interesting topic, because I want to believe there are things I can control or do to help contribute to my son's survival.  He was just 5 when dx'd with Nodular Lymphocyte Predominant Hodgkin's and then 7 months later was dx'd with type-1 diabetes.  I spend a LOT of times managing the controllable factors of his diabetes...carb-counting, insulin delivery, fish-oil supplements, calcium and vitamin-D, other amino acids that are supposed to help protect from kidney disease, testing his blood sugar as many as 10 times per day.  But when it comes to cancer...I am at a loss.  I can't think of much, other than a healthy diet, that is controllable.  Either it will come back, or it won't.  It makes me feel sick to even acknowledge that fact. 

As far as his survival so far...I do think I can point to how I may have contributed to it.  I PUSHED for answers even after a Pediatrician told me numerous times that he was "fine" and "nothing" was wrong with him.  Well...I wanted answers, and I believe God gave mothers (and some Dads) an ability to sense when their child is in danger, and I had this sense.  Fortunately, he was dx'd in a early stage, which makes a HUGE difference in his prognosis. 

We know other kids from our clinic who are struggling with their disease.  I know their parents would do anything to change what is happening...and other than praying, there is nothing they can do.  We feel the parents version of survivor's guilt often when we speak to these parents.  Why is our child playing soccer and planning a great summer, while their child is struggling to survive?  I have no answers.

It's not reward for being good or payback for being bad.  It simply is what it is.  Trying to make sense of it, well, I don't know how you do that without buying into some kind of fiction, whether it be religious, food choices or only traveling in helicopters.

Perhaps what you're really saying in the second part of the quote is you feel a responsibilty to makes changes in your life so it has more meaning?  Most of us confront something like that when we go through this process.  The trick is keeping that focus alive.  As for what to do, it might not be one big things but several little things which might even change from time to time.

If I had died, the only thing I would have wished from or for those who lived was that they live well and with meaning.  That make sense?

Blessings