The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society - Fighting Blood Cancers
11 Replies Latest reply: Jun 23, 2012 12:15 PM by Tex RSS

3 years of marriage, 18 months of cancer...

Lottie Registered Users
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Wasn't really sure how to title this one lol...

 

So, tomorrow (6/21) will be Nate and mine 3rd wedding anniversary (though we've been together for well over 7 years now). Friday will mark 18 months since his diagnosis. Also, just to throw it in here, he will be 16 months post SCT on 7/2. Anyways, I was just thinking today on our way home from his appointment that one half of our married life has revolved around cancer. 18 straight months of thinking about acute leukemia every single day. And then after that day, it will forever make up more than half of our married life. I'm not sure why I find this significant, but for some reason I do. I mean, I am 25 and he is 26. When we are in our 80s, will we still remember what it was like before cancer? Even now, it seems like a ver long time ago. What it was like before the medications, the trips to boston, the meetings with oncologists, the blood draws, the scars, the hospital stays. What it was like before when he was normal. It's just so strange and somewhat sad to think that we only got 18 months to be a normal married couple. 18 months is not a very long time. It is what it is, and to be honest he and I have been so lucky with his treatment, but it was just sobering to think about.

 

Anyways, Nate has his appointment today and all is well. Blood counts look great and they are testing his testosterone again (it will take a bit to get back though). Mentally and physically he is awesome. Dr. Chen hasnt seen him since he started his electroconvulsive therapy (for depression) and was so happy to see a smiling Nate actually sitting up instead of laying down. Nate has started looking for work again with a vengeance. He has also returned to playing baseball in his free time. I got him tickets to a AA baseball game for father's day and we're going a week from Sunday. All in all, we're doing good.

 

Thank all of you for being there for us through all of this. I hope that someday, I will be able to be such a positive beacon of hope for others.

  • Re: 3 years of marriage, 18 months of cancer...
    Lottie Registered Users
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    Oh, and P.S.

     

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  • Re: 3 years of marriage, 18 months of cancer...
    Tex Registered Users
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    I kind of get where you're coming from.  I get interested in coincidental numbers and detailing all the statistical significance.  Hell, it beats working for a living.   I'm not into numerology or anything, it's just interesting.  I'm kind of into symmetry.

     

    You know, from now on you will always have that reality that over half of your marriage happened post-cancer.  But it won't dominate your life together for the next several years.  You'll also have over half of your live's together dedicated to being parents.  That's the one that will last.

     

    Happy anniversary to you both.

     

    Blessings

    • Re: 3 years of marriage, 18 months of cancer...
      Lottie Registered Users
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      you know it's funny you mention liking symmetry and finding numbers interesting because I always have, too. I am not into numerology either, but I do find relationships between dates, times, numbers, etc. that seem like they can't just be coincidental. Like, nate's birthday is 4/4/86 and mine is 5/5/87. He is one year, one month, and one day older than me. Also, he was diagnosed on a Wednesday, told he was in remission on a wednesday, got his transplant on a wednesday, and has all his appointments on a wednesday.

      • Re: 3 years of marriage, 18 months of cancer...
        Tex Registered Users
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        Well, to be honest, I do think they're coincidental.  But to me, that's part of the fun...that things can just line up like that for no reason whatsoever.  It's like watching the odometer swing around to all the same numbers...when the symmetry lines up, well, it's pretty.

         

        BTW, I think I forgot to say how happy I am that Nate is back to his old self.  I tell you, he's a heckuvan ad for that therapy.  I don't usually get jealous (or don't usually admit it) but I'm jealous of him.  I'm still thinking about checking into it.

         

        Blessings

        • Re: 3 years of marriage, 18 months of cancer...
          Lottie Registered Users
          Currently Being Moderated

          With the ECT, I have to tell you, it's been amazing. I have never seen anything work so quickly and so effectively. It has it's downsides (headache, short term memory loss), and risks associated with general anesthesia, but it has a 95% success rate. He's better than he was mentally BEFORE the cancer.

          If you do decide to look into it seriously, make sure you do so with specialists at top notch psych hospitals, just like people looking into SCTs. It's serious stuff!

  • Re: 3 years of marriage, 18 months of cancer...
    KyGuy Registered Users
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    While it's part of your life now, it's also part of your past - his wicked past.  Focus on the fact that it's behind you.

     

    I'm really glad that the depression treatments have been so successful.

     

    Take care.

  • Re: 3 years of marriage, 18 months of cancer...
    MJax Registered Users
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    Hey Lottie,

     

    Just wanted to add my words of support as well.  I'm the patient, but my husband and I were married on March 12, 2011 and I was diagnosed on August 8, 2011.  It is a major test of the couple's ability to create and maintain a wonderful quality of life for the two of them, and in your case, your child as well.  I'm in my mid-twenties like you.  One thing that brings me a lot of comfort is that the challenges we've all faced thus far strengthen us immeasurably, which makes for a better marriage.  If ever you need to vent, chat, etc., don't hesitate to return to this board or send a message!

     

    Best wishes,

    MJax

  • Re: 3 years of marriage, 18 months of cancer...
    Missouri Registered Users
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    My husband and I had a similar experience. We were married just a little over two years when he was diagnosed with ALL, and that was in 2009. It is quite the journey we are all on, isn't it?

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