I have to say that today I am feeling uneasy about myself.  I know that it would be good to go in and get some real help.  But I am scared too.  Everything seems to be snowballing.  Yes we need the help but there are others that need it more.  How can I justifiy that fact that we have a roof over our head but can't get the kids christmas presents.  Now I know that I am going to have get help.  Co-workers have it out for me.  I knew that this was going to happen.  When we changed supervisors,  I knew I was going to get shafted.  And I ever bend over and take it or find a new job.  I hate this, I love the work I do just not the people I work with.  HELP!

I am so tired of dealing with this stupid disease.  That no one knows anything about.  There is nothing that they can do for pain and all of the test come back fine.  But you know that you are not fine and that it hurts.  Come on Doc wake up and do something.  How am I suppose to live my life with this hanging over my head?  I have a family that I need to care for and a husband to love.  But I am too tired to do it.  I am sick of being sick, I am tired of being tired.  When do you say enough is enough, fix me.  They now have a possible vaccine for HIV and cocanine addicts, what about us.  We have to suffer too, but there is nothing they can do.  We just sit and wait and wait and wait.  We deal with the pain, we deal with the tiredness, we deal with the endless sticks.  For what to wait more.  to wait..................................................................................................................................

Well at last the summer is coming to an end.  My daughter just finished up her showing season with a bang.  She show at the Iowa State Mule and Donkey Show in Bloomfield, IA.  It was 2 days of showing and they were long.  She had to compete against kids that were a lot older then her in two of her classes, Showmanship and Mulemanship.  But she stood her ground getting third in her showmanship class and sixth in the mulemanship class.  Not bad.  Then she did very well in the rest of her classes.  Standing in first or second most of the classes.  But she did so well that she ended up getting high point 10 and under award.  She got herself some new chinks.  She is so excited.  But the weekend ended on a sad note.  The mule she was working with for the last two shows was sold on Sunday.  Her and her cousins all cried, her aunt and I tried to keep an upper lip about it but we were sad too.  But that is the way of the business.  So now she has to start working with a new mule and will see what next year brings!  I will post pictures when I get them!)