I was 25 going through RCHOP and losing my hair was terrible but I got through it.  The scarves actually looked cute on me.

When my hair initially started falling out between my 1st and 2nd RCHOP that was what was emotionally the hardest for me.  Waking it up and having it on my pillow, just putting a finger in my hair and having so much fall out, plus the shower was the worst so instead of dealing with that I just had my boyfriend buzz cut it.  And while first I could not believe what I was doing, it made me feel so much better afterwards and not having big chunks fall out was great!

I got a wig that looked just like my regular hair before I lost it.  Even though I only wore the big to more formal events, I prefered scarves.  I knew the wig was fake so I thought everyone else would but they didn't.

I think its just a matter of accepting things and the lose of hair.  Plus I looked at it as the least of my issues!

Hi Susan,

I too, had AML.  I had long blonde hair before treatment and I've always been vain so ya, it was a tragedy!  LOL.  Actually, the falling out part was not so bad.  I was surprised and amused when I developed a bald spot like a 60 year old man.  I felt like Bozo the clown.  Hair on the sides, bald on top.  It was the worst "do" ever!!  At first, I wore caps and then stopped washing my hair completely because it would fall out in the shower.  So...I developed dreadlocks.  I really was holding on to my hair until the bitter end.  I finally went to the hairdresser and had them cut it short. I couldn't bring myself to buzz it off completely. It's not easy for girls to lose their hair!  I know how you feel!!  I had the same experience as you....I went to the wig shop and hated the wigs.  I couldn't bring myself to buy one.  I thought they looked so fake!!  For several months I just wore caps/beanies/scarves.  I never walked around bald - too vain for that.  My kids started calling me "Mini Me."  Ha! My husband was really good about it.  He always told me I was beautiful.  When I was completely bald I really felt like a cancer patient.  I think that's why it was so hard.  I didn't feel normal or pretty anymore.   Anyway, I eventually did go out and buy a few wigs - after my bone marrow transplant.  I bought long and short styles. The shorter styles are MUCH easier to maintain and just as cute.  They are more comfortable and not so hot & scratchy.  (I developed hot flashes after my BMT - because I went into menopause).  There are some super cute styles out there - Rene of Paris makes some of the best wigs IMO.  Check them out online when you get a chance. You can even try Ebay.  I had one wig that I really liked called the "Codi."  It was a layered bob - extremely cute.  I got a lot of compliments on it.  I always wore the synthetic wigs which actually look real - you will fool most people with them.  The only time they look fake is in photos.  (I hate my driver's license pic).  Anyhoo, this too shall pass....my hair has grown back and yours will too!!!  Sending you (((HUGS)))!!! 

Hey Mag, Well my mom has went bald, 1, 2, 3 x's time, and finally has a buzz grown back:)  How did she do it?  Well for one, she never were a wig.. She actually suprised the heck out of all of us and went bald some days, and the other days she would wear caps, cotton preferably.  She didn't like baseball caps caused they itched, but the soft caps she loved.. hugs, nicole

PS - get some eyebrow pencils too - those thin also.

This is extremely hard for women. I know I obsessed about it. Like others, I had really long blonde hair. It was summertime when I started to lose it. I remember being in the car and having the windows down and the hair blowing across the dashboard. It would get in my mouth and just made me sick. Not to mention my bathroom. I dreaded getting in the shower and got to the point I really didn't brush my hair. I got it wet and then put it up. I remember starting my chemo appointments and there being a woman there with breast cancer. Since she had Adriamicin, hers went fast. Mine didn't fall out as fast and I remember her being upset that I still had hair. I went to the fabric store with some friends and got fabric to make my own scarves. I matched my outfits. I had fun with that honestly. They didn't work for every situation, so my hairdresser actually recommended a wig store that she used. I went there and got a wig. My boyfriend was so great. He bought me a coach hat, that was really soft and silky. I wore that thing all the time. It felt the best on my head. He buzzed my head when I decided it was time. We had the "last supper" before buzzing it. One last time out with hair. I know that I was very conscious the entire time I was without hair and once it started to grow back. I always thought that people were looking at me or that they were pitying me. I've now learned that wasn't the case. People are usually too caught up in themselves to recognize your suffering. The mirror was the worst, or at night when we would go to bed. It was hard when it was the 2 of us and you wanted to be intimate or when you had to be honest with yourself. Dave was my rock and reassured me that I was beautiful. He said he rather liked it instead of the long hair for a change. It worked. It helped me get through it. I guess we all find our thing that works. I agree with the fleece caps. They were my friend. I did a lot of cotton scarves...and my coach hat. I still love that thing. Remember the sunscreen. Even with clothing on, you are still susceptible to burn...

{{{Hugs}}} We're all praying for you while you go through this.

Steph

Susan,

I had AML and an Auto SCT in '07.  I thought that losing my hair would be horrible, but after the first month I became determined to enjoy the freedom.  Even had a short mohawk for a few hours in order to make my daughter laugh during a hospital visit.  I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my baldness as a sign that the cancer was going away.  I was bald because I was being cured!  After my massage therapist gave me a wonderful scalp massage, I was hooked.  I loved different weight caps and colorful bandanas to keep me warm.  I also used scarves around my neck to give me a little flair when I felt like going totally bald. My hospital has a program that gives all women a wig, but it was just felt too uncomfortable to my scalp.  I have seen many wonderful looking wigs - I just couldn't do it.  Best luck to you as you journey along.   Please don't be afraid to try lots of things and find what feels right to you.     amy