All of that is a blur to me too. I remember the landmark testing, but can't match them up with the date markers. Like I know we got results back on Day 14 but don't remember if that's the day we learned she was <5% or what.

You are not a nut. You are a cancer mom. Now go eat some chocolate.

I'm pretty nutty too and can barely remember before yesterday.

Hows this for nutty? I've been really worried about how much Peter has been drinking lately, so wrote a detailed email to the Info centre of LLS asking about it. When I went into my file to find the email address, I found that I had written to them a year earlier about the exact same thing and they had replied. I couldn't remember writing the email, and certainly couldn't remember them responding. How could I forget that we had already been through the same worrying situation previously?

So Cheryl, you are certainly not alone.

Cheryl,

I am sure all of us can easily relate to that. The treatment to this disease is so long that it can physically and mentally exhaust caregivers. For parents such as us, we have to remember all medications, records, etc - how can we expect our little kids to do that. Just the fact that these kids are dealing with so many physical and emotional things is itself amazing and are our super-heroes. There have been so many times that my wife has called in my office panicking and saying - "Puneet, I have this nasty feeling that I need to do something in regards to Stuti's treatment, I just do not remember what?". We are not super-human beings. We are just trying to do what is best for our children and trying to make sure that we do not forget anything or make a mistake.  This in addition to other parenting duties that "regular" parents have.

Best,

Puneet (Stuti's Dad)

www.caringbridge.org/visit/stuti

Good morning,

   This thread sure does take me back! Mary Kate was DX with ALL back in 2001 when she was 6. She has been off treatment for 5 years (!!!!!) and doing

very well. I still visit this site often, though not as much as I used to. This board was such a lifesaver for me, and I visit now and then to see if I can offer any advice or help, and to check on the kids here.  I remember just the shock and horror of the first month, and when the Doctor said that  she was in

remission on day 28, we were in the clouds! We couldn't believe it! Then, within 5 minutes, he starts describing the road ahead- did we want to be on a study or not, and the choice of the 4 different arms, and how we could choose to not be on a study, and we could pick the arm.  I got up and excused myself and went into the bathroom and got sick.  How could I possibly decide what arm would be best for her? What if we picked one and she relapsed?

My husband came and knocked on the door, and we hugged. I cried to him, and he said the way he saw it, we had only one choice. Mary Kate only had such a great chance of survival because of those who did studies before us. He said "We will pray and put her on a study, and pray that she will go onto the arm that is the right one for her. We cannot worry about it; we have to be strong for her."

That is what we did, and the best part is that she ended up on the arm that had sounded the best to me. It was the one I probably would have chosen if I had to choose.

    This whole ordeal is such a rollercoaster. Sometimes I still can't believe it is all over. I think last year I FINALLY got to the point where I don't get sick to my stomach every time she gets sick. I still feel so blessed that she is walking around and healthy.

www.caringbridge.org/tx/marykate