November 7, 2009. One year ago today I sat in the ER at Cardinal Glennon with my just turned 4 year old next to me as a doctor told me worse case it's leukemia.
I took Haidyn in the morning to our pediatrician because she had a cold for 3 weeks with ear infections, complained of stomach and shoulder pains, was tired and very pale. I thought it was just a virus and she was anemic. Our pediatrician sent us to Cardinal Glennon for a chest x-ray that came back great and blood work that wasn't so great. Her white count was in the 90,000s and normal is 5,000-14,500. We were to be admitted and sent to the ER.
My husband Ben was headed over when they gave me the news that it was indeed leukemia. I kept my composure with little tears in my eyes as not to break down in front of Haidyn. I didn't want to tell Ben until he got there or my mom. Tammi, my sister, knew and she told my family. They were all headed down too. Haidyn had her first IV put into her left hand. It rested on a pillow as she called it. Ben was near, so I left Haidyn with ER Nurse Doug, who was awesome, and I went to meet Ben. I walked out of the ER doors as he was walking up and all I could say was "it's worse case". I remember the look on his face and he said "they already know". We hugged and cried and then went back into the ER where our sweet girl was and he grabbed her and held her. I remember this all vividly and now exactly what we were wearing and what kind of day it was. It is forever etched in our head. Haidyn didn't know what was ahead and neither did we. All I knew is that my family fought cancer once and we will surely do it again!
We were taken up to 4North at Cardinal Glennon which was to become our home. So much was thrown at us, I couldn't even rememeber which nurses we were first introduced to. We have since come to know them all very well. Dr. Bhatla, Haidyn's oncology doctor, sat us down to talk to us about options, the type, percentage of survival, what would happen in the next few days. It was scary, not my baby! Papa and Nana arrived soon after. I think Papa was going well over 80. Joe and Tammi (7 months pregnant) were soon behind them. The life specialist hooked Haidyn up with things to do and was great with her.Macie came over to see Haidyn's room and have dinner. Her life was changing now too.
Saturday Haidyn had her first spinal. Joe, my brother-in-law, stood in with her as it was too hard for me and Ben at the time. Now it is just a routine thing. She also had a PICC line placed into her right arm. She was brave.
It was a worldwind time. So much thrown at us. My parents took Macie, our younger daughter, to stay with them at Tammi and Joe's for the week. We knew she'd get the attention that she needed. I took off work for the next 2 months at least. Ben and I stayed together by her side every night for the first week. The next week we tried to get back to a little normal with Ben going back to work and Macie going back to Ms Amy's to be with her friends. Grandpa and Grandma Louden came up to spend this week with us. They relieved me at the hostpial and spent time with Macie giving her the attention she needed. Macie is a Mommy's girl so it was hard for her not to have me. Her and Daddy bonded.
After 25 nights at the hospital we went home December 1st. On that Friday, December 5th, Haidyn had her port put in and that would become her line for all her chemo. At this time we also got the news that she had 0% cancer in her body! Joyous!
Now we are a year later, about 58 nights at the hospital, over 100s of chemos in her body, many spinal taps, so many blood checks, we are here. I worried so much about her hair falling out that first month and it took a while to do. It fell out this past June and is growing back blond again and straight. She's beautiful with or without hair!
Ben took her for her treatment last Friday and her ANC is 3080! That is the highest it has been in a year! She is thriving and doing great!
We are so thankful for our doctors, nurses, friends, family, strangers, jobs, the girls' teachers and school and everyone who has helped us through this past year. It has not been easy but we are at an awesome point now. Today we will celebrate Haidyn's 5th birthday along with her 1 year diagnosis. We have a beautiful day and big girl who is doing so well.
Thank you GOD!