Thank you.  You've helped support my suspicion that there is someone or some ones out there sending folks in here.

You say you were warend about me.  Interesting.  Your e-mail is private, I read all your posts and no one warned you about me on those.  So, how else were you warned if sopmeone wasn't complaining about me and sending folks, like you, in?

You're not the first to come in here out of nowhere and say they know about me.  I wonder how so many experts on Tex have so little experience and contact here?

Oh, well, enough about that.  You say my tone is "belligerent, dismissive, condescedning and just plain ugly."  I'll admit that with others.  I ask you to show me an example from my contact with you.  If you can and do, I'll evaluate it and get back to you.

However, if you think your convoluted message -- which I've really made an effort to understand -- seems to say "I decided to heal in order to pass God's test and live."  That is so subjective and open to coincidence that presenting it as a fact deserves dimissal and anyone who believes it needs to be condescended to.

As for self-awareness, I'm very aware of my words and actions.  I'm also aware of my surroundings and the environment in which I post.  Are you?  Are you aware that there are people reading your words on a monitor who have lost children, spouses and beloved parents to blood cancer deaths?  That's right, they might just be words on a computer monitor to you but those words are typed by real people with real feelings and real losses...real pain.

Are you aware that your "message," when not dismissed leaves people asking questions they need not ask?  "Did I not have enough faith?  Did my loved one not want to live enough?  Does God hate me?"  If you're not aware of that, you might be self-aware but you're not capable of thinking beyond the nose on your face.

God might test us sometimes.  However, that biblical figures were tested does not imply God tests us all.  Who is truly self-centered enough to think God pays them that much micro-attention when God has a universe to watch over?  Those people were in the Bible.  Are you?

It's interesting that, though you've consigned everyone else to "words on a monitor" you apparently expect to be accepted and taken seriously.  You go ahead and type all the words on a monitor you want.  But I suspect there's a real person with some warped thoughts behind those words and I'll continue to challenge them.

Frankly, knowing that you are a person, your contempt for the feelings and simple integrity of others is sad.  So sad.

Please deliver a message to the person or persons who urged you in here, though I expect s/he is reading this.  Send as many pissants in here as you want, I haven't shut up defending God and people in five years and I won't stop as long as I'm here.