I was 24years old and in general good health. I hadn't been to the doctor in at least 3 years and the last time I went was for a cold. On February 4, 2009 while getting ready to leave work, I reached up and brushed my hair away from the left side of my neck. This was probably the 5th or 6th time I had done this that day but, little did I know; that moment changed my life. I felt a lump roughly the size of a quarter and some swollen/puffy stuff surrounding the lump. I immediately had this heat come over me. I didn't know what it was or what could have caused it. My initial thought was an allergic reaction to something I ate. I had a co-worker look at it and we both thought that perhaps it could be my thyroid. I drove home in complete silence replaying my food intake trying to figure out what could have caused this. I wasn't sold on the idea of it being my thyroid because it was too far over (in my opinion) to be that. My Mom can be a little over-reactive when it comes to medical issues so, I didn't tell her, my Dad or anyone else that night. Mom had always told me to go get regular check-ups. "Have your thyroid checked and get tested for diabetes, etc," she'd always say. And my standard response was, "OK Mom." My biggest mistake happened next...I got online and went to WebMD to see what this could possibly be. I saw a link for Cat Scratch Fever, something I had when I was about 6. Could this be flaring up again? I took a Benadryl and went to bed._
The next morning, there was no change in the lump. I grew even more worried and it was that moment that I heard the voice in my head, "go to the doctor." Never in the past have I had that feeling. Doctors scare me. I'm always affraid of what they'd say or what they'd find. So, I always played the "I'm going to build up my immune system" card and let my body naturally fight it. That day at work, I told more people about it and let them look/feel the lump. And everyone of them told me to go to the doctor. Against my desires, I called and got an appointment for the next day. The next step was to tell my Mom. I called her at work and told her in tears that I had found a lump in my neck and didn't know what it was but, had a doctor's appointment for tomorrow. My boss was less than thrilled with my choice to go to the doctor on a Friday, one of our busiest days at work but, at this point I didn't have a choice. I didn't know what this was.
I arrived at the doctor's office, filled out the necessary new patient paperwork and spoke to the nurse about what was going on. Before I could finish, she had circled nearly every blood test there is. They drew 5 vials of blood and I waited for the doctor. She was really nice and made me feel comfortable. She asked me if I noticed any other lumps and I said, "no" and asked if Lymphoma ran in my family, "no." She then asked that I put on a gown so she could feel my other lymph nodes. She felt around my underarms, my breasts and my groin area and no lumps (Thank God). She then ordered a chest X-ray and nothing was present there. At this point, she prescribed me Levaquin to take for 10 days for what she suspected to be a reactive lymph node to an infection somewhere in my body and just to be safe, she ordered an MRI to be done when I completed the medicine. That weekend, I couldn't sleep. I couldn't eat. I was so worried because again, I wasn't sold on the idea of it just being a reactive lymph node, mostly because I've never had a lymph node react like this. I prayed to God. I told him I couldn't handle the worry and to please take the worry away. I read a bible verse and posted it in my office and every time I looked at it, it would take the worry away. It is Philippians 4:6-7. It felt like an eternity waiting on my blood results because now, not only was I worried about the lump, Mom's constant nagging about getting stuff checked out was finally being done. What if I was diabetic? What if...What if...Philippians 4:6-7 I would recite.
The next week, blood results were back. I was told to come in so they could discuss them. I begged for them to give me the results over the phone so that I could at least know what to prepare for. I was told that my thyroid was under-active and I was severely anemic; that all they needed to do was give me prescriptions. I went in the next day. The doctor went over blood results with me. She was really concerned with why I was so anemic so, she wanted to do a blood smear. So, 5 more vials of blood were drawn and I got a prescription for Synthroid. No iron pills yet until we new what was wrong with the blood. She also wanted to know about the MRI status. Had I gotten it done yet or what? I told her I had an appointment that following Monday. She stressed to me how important that MRI was especially since the Levaquin hadn't made a significant impact on the lump. She said that I could possibly have an abscess (a walled-off infection) and longer use of antibiotics would be needed.
I got the MRI and was called in the next day for more blood work. Apparently they didn't have enough in reserve to continue the tests so I waved bye-bye to 5 more vials. The next day, I got a phone call from the doctor herself asking if I could come in as soon as possible. I asked why and she said we'd discuss it when I got there. I begged her to please tell me so that I could prepare myself (much like the results of my first blood test). She said, "only if you really want me to..?" "Please," I replied. She said the MRI didn't show this to be an abscess. She wasn't quite sure but, it was serious and not only that but the "dye" they used continued off the picture leading them to believe it wasn't just a lump in my neck but just part of a mass resting in my chest and around my heart. I broke down in tears and she remained silent. She wanted to do a needle aspiration to see if they could get a reading of benign or malignant. I called my Mom to let her know what was going on. She left work and met me at the doctor's. After the test, my doctor referred me to a Radiation Oncologist as well as an ENT incase the lump needed to be biopsied. I got an appointment for the following Wednesday. I got to the Cancer center where I met with my doctor who was named Top Doctor in Radiation Oncology for 5 years in a row. That made me feel pretty comfortable. I went through the whole list of what had gone on and he ordered a PET scan as well as a CT scan and of course, more blood work. All went fine except the awful Barium Shakes...those are so gross!
On March 3, I was called in to have an ECHO and a MUGA scan. What?? Off to the internet I went to find out what these were. Both were scans of the heart. I instantly got worried that something was wrong with my heart. The MUGA scan had to be done the next day because it requires a dose of something (ordered specifically for me). I did the ECHO and I asked the tech why they had to do this. She responded with, "they do scans to get a baseline of the heart. It's a standard test before they begin treatment." TREATMENT?? Treatment for what? "Oh," I said, "I hadn't been diagnosed with anything." That's when I knew. I met with the doctor after the ECHO where I found out that I had Hodgkins Lymphoma stage IIa. Mom and I cried. Never in a million years did I think I would have/get cancer. Till this day, I have a hard time grasping the fact. In addition to all of this, they found a cyst on my ovary about 12cm big. That's about the size of a newborn baby's head. Two days later, I had the lymph node biopsied as well as the port inserted. Yes, my doctor was so sure I had cancer he had them implant the port before the true biopsy came back. I was set to meet my actual Oncologist and begin chemo on March 12.
I never thought I'd EVER be excited to begin chemotherapy. But, I was glad to know what was wrong. I had majority of my questions answered and there was a set plan. Four cycles of AVBD and radiation. I arrived on the 12th right a noon to meet my Oncologist. Four hours later, he shows up. He read through my chart and rambled off what I had, what we were going to do and side effects I'd have. I couldn't stand the man!! His bed side manner left a lot to be desired. He was short with me. I couldn't get a question in edgewise. My blood pressure spiked and I walked out of the room in near tears. I told Mom and Dad that I wanted to go to MD Anderson (oh, I live in Houston...and why wasn't I at MD Anderson in the first place?...read on) and my Oncologist's nurse(who is a cancer survivor herself) over heard me. She pulled me aside and apologized for his behavior. She assured me everything was going to be ok; that she was the one administering the chemo. We talked longer and I felt more comfortable. She added, "plus, you'd have to wait two months or more for a doctor at MD Anderson," which I find out later is the truth. So, March 17th I began chemo but not before an apology from my Onc. Jump to today: I LOVE MY ONCOLOGIST! He's funny and truly does care. I'm his favorite patient. I know this because everyone, including him, tells me so. We joke around with each other all the time.
I was offically in Remission as of May 26, 2009. As far as side effects, I was assured I'd lose my hair. While it did thin a little, you can't even tell I had any chemo (besides the lump/mass is gone!). Speaking of mass, it was gone by the third chemo treatment. I did get sick. I didn't lose weight. I actually gained weight. I got chemo on Tuesdays and the next few days were rocky especially Fridays. Those were my worst days. I finished chemo on July 7th. On July 27th I began radiation. Four weeks and a day all through the chest and neck. Eight days on the neck alone (where the cancer was found) and just for precaution: axillas (armpits) for four weeks and a day each...EVERYDAY! I'm still currently going through radiation. I'm on the last part now...armpit 1 of 2. This part is much better than the first part of radiation. I had almost every side effect I signed off on. Loss of taste, loss of hair in radiation field, nausea, weight loss (40 pounds), tiredness, redness or sunburn-like markings. These areas are actually peeling now.
I'm 25 now (as of last Sunday) and I constantly amaze people with my spirit and how calm I've remained. If you read the statistics on this cancer, they're pretty favorable. Granted, it's still cancer and the process of killing the cancer is no different than the worst out there. But, your attitude is everything. Go in with a fighting attitude. Don't let this retched disease get the best of you. Have faith in God and know he's your tour guide through this journey because believe me, you can't do it alone. And like I always say, "I got more out of cancer than cancer ever got out of me."
Sorry this was so long but, I really wanted to share EVERYTHING I went through. Thanks for reading. Keep fighting!
-Amanda
