The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society - Fighting Blood Cancers
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  • 120. Re: Things that Should Never be Said to a Cancer Parent
    norrim04 Registered Users
    Currently Being Moderated

    Oh, the irony that a church Mom had the nerve to call you and say such a thing. In case she ever brings it up again, tell her, " Jesus said, let the children come to ME, not school, so we're prioritizing how here energies are spent." Even though, this remark doesn't deserve more than a blank stare and then a "thank you for sharing" with a head shake. The fact that she had the nerve to call you with this completely unbelieveable statement makes it all the galling.


    I'm so sorry.

  • 121. Re: Things that Should Never be Said to a Cancer Parent
    ronitn Registered Users
    Currently Being Moderated

    Karen,

     

    That remark was so out there...I don't even know what to say about it. If you didn't kill her or at least yelled at her and told her off, you have a lot of grace. Obviously she does not. As upsetting as it is, you are the only one that decides where is Leanne going and for how long.

     

    Some people just have no brain and speak out of their a**. You are a great mom and  Leanne is going to shower you with her love for everything you doing for her today, tomorrow and years down the road. As a mother of 3 teenagers I doubt this woman that called you will get the same from her kid/s. Then you can call and tell her maybe she pushed too hard.

     

    I guess I had something to say about it after all.

     

    xoxo

    Ronit

  • 122. Re: Things that Should Never be Said to a Cancer Parent
    Gabbiesmom Registered Users
    Currently Being Moderated

    Oh Karen, that this woman made a special effort to share her advice....wowzer. Thats a whole lot of nerve going on right there! Flat out amazing!!

     

    Its gets so old explaining the decisions we make to care for all parts of our kids. I had a person say to me today, because I was out with Gabbie, and Gabbie is doing well today, say, "oh! she must be in remission huh??"  I get so tired of the comments about how well she must be doing when they see her out. Because if she felt horrible, I'd still bring her to church??? People have one picture in their mind of how a cancer patient should look, and if they don't look that way, they then are all better.

     

    Gabbie has two modes, Go and Stop. So, when we are out, she tends to be go go go. 3 hours of that today, and she needed to be carried in to the house for naptime. People only ever see the "go" part, so apparennly she feels like that all the time....right? Thats logical.

     

    Poo on this woman. I don't think I'd lend her my ear again any time soon.

  • 123. Re: Things that Should Never be Said to a Cancer Parent
    Peter'sMum Registered Users
    Currently Being Moderated

    Karen, I just can't believe that anyone could be so stupid and insensitive. She deserves a bullet.

    I am so glad that Leann had such a great time though.

    Hugs to you both!

    Bridget

  • 124. Re: Things that Should Never be Said to a Cancer Parent
    Lucyjane Registered Users
    Currently Being Moderated

    Dear Karen

     

    I can't believe what that lady said to you.  I understand that most people don't really understand what our children are going through, but I can't believe she would phone and tell you her uninformed opinion.  I agree with the previous mom who said her children probably do not have the same bond with her as you do with yours - how could they when she is obviously so insensitive and unfeeling.

    Sam missed a lot of school all through his treatment as he often felt nauseous.  I did not push him to go, but I still let him attend birthday parties and anything else he wanted to if he had good enough neuts and wanted to go - I wanted him to have some sort of life.  No-one ever commented on it.  I am glad that even though she is feeling so unwell, Leann is able to do something that means so much to her and also gets a chance to mix with the outside world. There is a lot of difference between going somewhere for an hour or so with the support of her family and trying to attend school.  You know you are doing the right thing - I bet that lady regrets what she has done.

     

    Lucy x

  • 125. Re: Things that Should Never be Said to a Cancer Parent
    robbieh Registered Users
    Currently Being Moderated

    Wow, I don't remember being taught anything about Christians having a duty to judge how other people treat their children's medical conditions...That lady is just a ^%$#@ and she is far from a Christian.  I bet she's one of those people who thinks she can do whatever she wants and be as hateful as she wants just as long as she goes to church every week.  Whatever.  You know what's right for your child and this is such an unpredictable monster we all deal with. 

     

    Sending dagger eyes to that lady, wherever she is.  Makes me think about that country song, Pray for You.  LOL.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=atBg9zLI2bA

     

     

    Robbie

  • 126. Re: Things that Should Never be Said to a Cancer Parent
    leann's_mom Registered Users
    Currently Being Moderated

    Wow, thanks again for allowing me to use this forum to vent with people who truly get it. As much as I wanted to lash out against this woman, I chose to turn the other way and just hang up the phone. Needless to say, she hasn't called me back. I agree that until outsiders have been in the shoes of a cancer parent, they have no right to pass judgements. Leann's pain/nausea/stamina/lack of energy makes it to where she could no way attend school right now. She gets tutored three days a week for three hours per day and naps for a good 3 hours or so after the session. Those three hours completely wipe her out, so right now there would be no way she'd make it through a full day of high school. I am definitely not changing the ways I handle her care for this woman or anyone else who passes judgements.

  • 127. Re: Things that Should Never be Said to a Cancer Parent
    mom2Graham63 Registered Users
    Currently Being Moderated

    Karen,

     

    As a Pastor's wife I can attest: sometimes church people are the worst. But you handled it well....although I am pretty sure the Lord would have been okay with you actually slamming the phone down in the woman's ear

     

    You should not have to add "justify to church people every decision or move we make with our daughter" to your to-do list! It's none of their beeswax!

     

    That youth group events are such a priority for Leanne is a testament to her character, proving once again what an amazing young lady she is!  Nevermind the ding dongs (my husband doesn't like me to use the word "idiots" )

     

    Have a great week!

     

    Lorna

  • 128. Re: Things that Should Never be Said to a Cancer Parent
    Hope_Floats Registered Users
    Currently Being Moderated

    For about six months after my son's dx, those insensetive statements used to aggrevate me to no end.....and then one day it dawned on me, for anyone to truly understand they would have to go through the same ordeal and I wouldn't wish that on anyone.  After I came to that conclusion I was able to tune out those insensetive statments, because I knew they were made from someone who was ignorant.  Lucky them, I would think.....

     

    Sue

  • 129. Re: Things that Should Never be Said to a Cancer Parent
    tburkhardt Registered Users
    Currently Being Moderated

    I agree Sue, but it's nice to have a place for us to vent as well I think.

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